Vicodin, flowers, & Indiana Jones

SO i got my surgery Thursday morning. I am officially birthmark-less. Thursday was a really rough day for me... i was so drowsy and nauseous since the anesthesia did not agree with me. And i have a cast on my right foot up to my knee that has to be like 10lbs. It was so tricky trying to walk with crutches at first because I was nauseous, tired, and in pain. At least everything went well though. 

Anyway, the past few days I  have basically just been watching tv, taking vicodin every 6 hours, napping, and trying to make myself comfortable. It's funny because I am a huge bum but now that i can't get out of bed at all it's miserable!! my back and neck are killing me because i can't really do anything but lay on my back in bed. i also have a huge scar on my right side in the crease of my stomach (sort of like a tummy tuck on one side..) so i'm trying not to lay on that at all. it's weird because when i saw the scar from the skin graft i didn't think it would look the way it does... it's SO long. like if i were to wear a bikini bottom a good 5-6 inches would still be visible. hopefully that fades fast though. it's crazy because the plastic surgeon closed the skin graft with glue so i the past few days i've been really worried my side would just like rip open lol. don't worry, it didn't.

My parents have been really great with all of this. My mom has been helping me with everything and now that my dad is home for the weekend he's been really helpful too. I can't shower for 2 weeks so yesterday they both helped me wash my hair. Oh my god and yesterday when i woke up, my dad had already gone out and bought Indiana Jones 1-3 since I mentioned that I had never seen them before (and NEVER had the urge to) so we could watch them together lol. We started on the first one and I fell asleep and he PAUSED it and waited for me to wake up hahah

but yea, that's my life lately. really boring but getting better everyday. A bunch of people have sent me flowers and get well cards and stuff so it's really helping to know there are a bunch of people there to support me. xoxo

well all good things must come to an end...

sadly, while i was at a five year old's science birthday party making fake snow, huge bubbles, slime, and ice cream my beloved philadelphia flyers lost and ended they amazing season. no more screaming at the television, cursing the refs from my couch, or lusting after mike richards until next october. i don't know if i am going to be able to wait that long for the hockey season to come back. i am going to go through withdrawal pretty soon. my cousin hana, timmy, and i plan to buy our flyer jerseys for next season to wear to the bars and go to some hockey games next season. i can't wait until i see my mike richards in person again. twice this season just wasn't enough for me.

so i started work today. fun fun fun. it is definitely a different environment and i like it. while i am still going to be babysitting throughout the summer, i'll also be working a "real" job too. it is nice. i'm nervous for wed though. its my first day without melissa there! i loved working with her today. haha. eeeek we will see how that turns out.

anyway, after looking at the mirror and trying on some of my clothing i realized how gross i looked and how bad i've been eating lately. it off to the gym again tomorrow morning. i'm gonna try to go every morning before work because i know i am going to be too exhausted after work and babysitting. i can't wait to get that feeling after working out again. i will keep it up hopefully all summer. so i'll be nice, fit, and tan this summer. i should have started earlier. darn.

i love mike richards...

if you didn't know already

i cant watch the game tomorrow because i'm working. i am going to be attached to my blackberry updating the score. argh. this is for the flyers...

actually i just wanna stare at mike richards all day, every day.

adorable...
i hope he's smiling like that after the game tomorrow.
fingers crossed.

You'll be fine..

I am so SICK of people who keep telling me "you'll be fine" with my surgery. I know i'll be "fine" but it is a big friggin surgery!! It's like saying, "don't worry, it's no big deal" but it is a huge friggin deal. I am not getting some little outpatient procedure where my birth mark is removed.

A surgeon is cutting out a deep chunk of my foot and a plastic surgeon is doing a skin graft and closing up my foot. I can't get out of bed for 2 weeks and I can't walk for a month. A MONTH. I'm going to be in pain, have scars, and do nothing but LAY IN BED for at least a month. Then I might need physical therapy and for 3 months I can't put that much pressure on it.

So i'm sorry for complaining again but i am f-ing scared. I've never had surgery before. So instead of people just telling me i'll "be fine" and writing me off, i wish they would actually HEAR ME OUT.

Sorry, i'm just frustrated. People don't really grasp the severity of my surgery. I guess I wouldn't really understand either if I wasn't the one going through all of it. It's just really annoying. I don't know if people think i'm exaggerating or what, but it just sucks. I'm already realizing who my TRUE friends are.

Needless to say I am in a cranky mood today. But I'm at work and i just had to go downstairs to check out some packages that were delivered and I passed like 5 hot construction workers. I want to go downstairs again and take another look.... hahah of course it takes a few cute guys to brighten my day. figures.

violence is not the answer

i realized today that whenever i get into a sticky situation i think that punching the person or something will magically make it all better. i constantly tell people to punch people thinking that action will solve everything. what is wrong with me? no idea. i guess i am just a really violent person inside.

anyway...
the flyers saved themselves from elimination by winning game 4. thank god they weren't swept. now we have to go back to pittsburgh and win game 5, come back to philly and win game 6, and then go back to pittsburgh to win game 7. it is gonna be a battle. do i think it can be done? i hope so. i really don't know what i will do if the flyers are able to defeat losing the first three games. wow.

i'm tired. my eye hurts. i cant stop eating. i feel bloated. i'm hoping to get my period soon. wow i am sharing too much information and complaining way too much. i need to settle down.

work starts monday! eek! but i get to spend the first two days with melissa!!! that'll be fun.
so nyu gave me a pretty big scholarship to go to grad school. now i am wondering if i made the right choice in columbia. hmmmmmm... so difficult. so difficult. i wish columbia would show me some loving and give me the kind of money nyu is shoving in my face. hmpf.

NICK SWARDSON TOMORROW! i've been waiting for this day for at least two months. SHIT WEAK! cant wait then it is out for hana's birthday. fun fun fun fun fun. gonna take lots of pictures. cant wait!

Counting down the days

So it's finally summer. I should be relaxing, shopping, planning fun adventures, pool and beach days, but instead, i am stressed. Yesterday i was at the hospital for hours. First I had to meet with a nurse practioner to fill me in on info for my surgery. She told me how to prepare and what i'll need to do after. But more importantly she scared the crap out of me with talk about how it's possible i could develop a blood clot after the surgery and that'll mess everything up. oh and i can't drink until after my surgery now or be around smoke or that could cause a blood clot. and the medication i'm already on makes it more likely i could develop a blood clot. i know the chances are still slim that it could happen and they just have to tell you all the things that could go wrong (risks with every surgery), but it still scared me. i've never had a big surgery before. all i've ever had done is get my wisdom teeth out and get lasek eye surgery. so this is kind of scary.

after hearing about all the risks and aftercare stuff of my surgery, i had to go to another part of the hospital and get some testing. i had to get blood work done, chest xray, and an ekg which i've never had before. it was so awkward having an ekg done by a male doctor. i had to lay there with my chest exposed while he put these suction cup-like things on me. fun!! haha needless to say it was a longgg, weird day.

i have been really okay about my whole surgery and then it just like hit me. i'm getting really serious surgery the 22nd and i'll be in bed for like a month. even after i'm healed and everything i might have to get physical therapy and i'll have to take it easy for a few months after. everything is going to change really soon and it's just a weird thought. it's like all i can think about. why can't i just be worrying about working and partying and my 21st bday? haha i am such a baby i can't stop complaining.

okay welllll back to work i suppose. i'll write more (and complain less) later i'm sure.

ice cream was a bad idea...

SCHOOLS DONE! DONE! DONE!

i went shopping today and got two super cute tops. i love shopping.
i'm babysitting late tonight. so bored thank god i brought my computer.
i'm watching snl. shia labeouf is hosting. he looks like any other 22 year old boy but he is just so much hotter than all of them. haha. okay...

i am really into necklaces right now. i like the whole layering effect. so right now i have four necklaces on. three of them from forever 21. two of them are really small charms on really thin strings. you make a wish and then wait for them to break off. the wish is supposed to come true afterwards. one of the necklaces is for success and the other for following your heart. its cute.

iron giant tomorrow. i mean iron man. i kept calling it iron giant today. goodness, i am so out of it.

picture of the day

jason mraz is adorable
CD TUESDAY! it is beyond amazing.

alright...

i'm halfway done my paper. i started getting naeusous at the library. i was there from 10 am to 4 pm and got three pages done, but i came home and in like an hour i got five pages done because i decided to just start from scratch. that is so bizarre. i'll finish the rest tomorrow while i'm babysitting. hmmph...

so i realized today that i seem to over analyze everything. i seriously need to stop doing that and just have some fun in my life. ugh so stupid. i always need my friends to remind me that it will be okay and just go with the flow. i actually need to take their advice to heart and get over myself. hah.

GRACE AND SADIE TOMORROW! i havent seen those darlings in over a week. missss them so much. im not gonna let them go tomorrow!

i wanna have his babies. like ten maybe..
i cannot wait for his new cd next week
fing love this song

mondayyy

yesss one presentation down, one to go!! i think it went pretty well today. i hate giving presentations and public speaking so of course i got nervous and spoke a little fast but whatever i think it was fine. just glad it's done!! tomorrow i have work 10-2 then i have to work on an outline for my presentation on thurs. the powerpoint is already done but we have to create a thorough outline with a works cited to show our research. it's a media crit presentation about gender in politics through the media's lens. my group has 11 people in it but we split into subgroups (only 4 people including me). my group is looking at skits of hillary on snl and news responses to this. basically we're examining the significance of SNL on the public. pretty interesting but i can't wait to be done!!

tonight i started looking into some ideas for my 21st bday. there's this one place in Hoboken that i'm really interested in having the party at so i guess we'll see what happens!! oooohhh less than 2 months!! finally!!! it's going to be an amazing summer that's for sure. (minus the whole surgery, scar, crippled thing) hahah

anyway, i'm exhausted so i'm going to do a bit of online shopping then early to bed! haha night!!

Vera & Eddie, my lazy pets

i'm about to pass out on my keyboard...

ONE MORE PAPER AND I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH NEW YORK UNIVERSITY. well, except for graduation of course. so today I handed in one of my papers and took my last two finals. it was an awesome feeling. i dont think i did too bad on them either. then, the plan was to come home and watch bladerunner so i could start writing my paper on wed. well, that surely did not happen. instead i walked around soho with julia and came home and went on youtube. me and youtube are not a good match recently. no lie i'm on it for at least two hours a day looking at the most ridiculous videos ever. then i bug other people to watch the videos i find hilarious but they sadly do not. o well. here is one i came across...

max talbot is hilarious with his dancing,singing (?) hahaha

i hate the pittsburgh penguins but he's a pretty funny guy and that voice. ugh. haha

anyway... i was watching sex on the city on demand and cannot wait for the movie to come out. i love season six. i love charlotte and harry. i love miranda realizing that she's in love with steve. i love when samantha first meets smith. and finally i love the akward and post it story line with carrie. this season might be my fav. i cannot wait for this movie to come out. i will go opening night, if tickets are not sold out. my favorite guy on sex in the city is steve. he is just so fing endearing and hilarious. in the episode i watched today, miranda gets baby poop all over her forehead and steve wipes it off of her with a baby wipe. then they are chasing each other with it. i seriously love them together. however, after seeing previews for the new movie i will be very upset if what i think happens actually happens. grrr... basically i love steve. he is such a nerd but so cute. gotta love them. i love steve. the end. good night.

boooo

Okay congrats to Christina's flyers but the rangers lost today so we are out of the playoffs. :( We lost in overtime after coming back 2-0 and tying up the game. This is the closest we've come in the playoffs and now it's all over. booooo. What a horrible day. i HATE the penguins. Stupid friggin Crosby. I still love Dubinsky though... we'll come back next year even stronger.

Anyway, I had a really good weekend besides the game today. Heather was home from school in Florida and we had a few days together as a family before she leaves for England tomorrow (she'll be gone a month). Last night we went to the Melting Pot, a fondue place, for an early mother's day and my parents really liked it. Me and Heather have been there before but they never had so it was a really fun experience for them. The chocolate fondue is amazing.... that is literally the only reason I go there haha

 

mom, dad, heather

But yea, after dinner me, Heather, and her bf Jeremy went to go see Baby Mama. It was pretty good.. funny but not as great as i had expected. I really want to go see Made of Honor and Forgetting Sarah Marshall still... I think me and Christina are going to see one of the two on Friday before we go out and celebrate the end of finals. woo hooo

I just realized that next Tuesday (May 13th) I'm going to get my preadmission testing for my surgery. I have to get a blood test, chest xray, and an ekg (which I've never had before). And then the week after that is my surgery (Thursday, May 22). I'm not really nervous about it anymore but I know once it gets closer I will be. It's just kind of scary not knowing what exactly to expect. They're removing my birth mark (large congenital nevus) since there's a chance it could turn into cancer or possibly spread further. They have to go pretty deep into my foot so they have to take a skin graft from my thigh. Apparently the scar from the skin graft will heal and lighten over time but the scar on my foot will be pretty noticeable. 

Right after the surgery I'm going to have a cast up to my knee for 2 weeks. During that time I literally can ONLY get out of bed to use the bathroom, which I'll need crutches for. Then I have to go to the plastic surgeon to get the cast removed and he'll replace it with a smaller cast for another 2 weeks. He said after that month I should be able to get around with a smaller bandage on but the oncologist told me I might be out of commission and wearing a boot thing up until August. SOOO i'm not exactly sure what to expect. My healing time could be 1-3 months depending on how the skin graft takes and whatnot. I guess I'll see.

The news of my surgery has already made me realize who my true friends are. It means a lot to me to have people saying they support me and they'll be there when I'm stuck in bed and everything. Some people have reacted in ways that have really hurt my feelings. But i guess i'll see more of their true colors once i actually get the surgery. It's really true that you only have a small group of friends in your life that you can really count on and it's in times of need that you realize who those people are. Over the past year i've changed so many things in my life and i'm thankful for the people who have stood by me or the new people i've met along the way. 

Okay, enough being so emotional haha. 

this is what my life looks like right now:

this week....

monday- last gender&comm. class, P.R. final group presentation

tuesday- work 10-2

wednesday- DAY OFF!! work on outline for group project...

thursday- media crit group presentation, work 1:30-5

friday- work 10-5 (Christina is coming in to interview for my job! haha), movie/dinner/out with Christina!!

saturday- home

next week....

sunday- mother's day--family stuff

monday- day off... hopefully see friends from home

tuesday- preadmission testing wooooohoooo

weds-fri- work 10-5

then basically i'll be getting my crap together (clothes, laptop, books, dvds, cat) and bringing everything home. my surgery is the 22nd and i'll be out of my apartment and home with my parents for at least a month so i need to take a bunch of stuff home and get settled. 

wow my summer is off to a really crappy start huh... ha. it kind of felt good to write it all down... okay no more complaining from me. POSITIVE THINKING. I'm a huge believer in "The Secret"... totally makes sense. It has definitely made a huge impact on my life. Read it love it live it hahah xoxo

i don't mean to gloat but...

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS BABY!!!

hopefully, melissa will be joining me soon. fingers crossed. i need to not be pessimistic and actually believe in my guys. jesus! not gonna lie, i was mentally getting prepared for a game 6 tomorrow night after the canadiens went up 3 to 1, but somehow we came back and it all started with mike richards goal in the second period. after his goal, we scored two more in a span of two minutes. we lost the lead in the third but scotty upshall won it for us with like four minutes left in the game. I LOVE THEM! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! i need to go and get a mike richards jersey. they sell womens ones now. AWESOME. when i marry him, we can laugh about it. right...

anyway i bought another pair of shoes today. i decided i needed a pair of heels so i decided to invest in a pair of patent mary janes. the heel seems big but they are really comfortable. i think i might need to get heel things for the back though because they seem to slip off a little. i decided that i need to grow up and start wearing heels. i am going to practice so i can perfect my walk and not eat shit when i am walking across the stage to receive my diploma on the 13th. yikes could you imagine. that would be embarrassing.

so this is my list of what i still need to do before May 9th:

• marketing for mass media final
• cross cultural communication final
• 800 word essay for Mass Persuasion and Propaganda
• watch Bladerunner
  
• finish WE - (more than half done)
  
• Dystopia final

wow i have a lot to do. YIKES! shit eff shit eff shit eff.
someone teach me time management. PLEASE!

ps my parents just came back from Medieval times with a paper crown and huge ass goblet. WOW. WOW. WOW. that's all i have to say.

i still have two papers and two finals left

unlike melissa i still have two papers and two finals to study for but i am not doing anything right now. i could really care less. seriously. it is a really bad but i just don't care, it is just a matter of getting it done. so instead of reading or writing I decided to go shopping and spent way too much money. this summer i am all about the sandals. i bought two pairs: gold and black. I love them

I also bought my graduation dress. I was deciding between the green and black but decided to go with the black because it will be more useful. I'll be able to wear it in the winter n stuff too. here's a picture of the dress in green (not a great pic but it will do):


so random thought for the day: my mom yelled at me for not speaking nicely to her. she doesn't like my tone of voice when i am speaking to her. i know i should really fix that but it only happens when i am speaking to her. you would understand if you knew my mother. ugh i guess i should work on it though. i am such an asshole.

coming home has not helped me get away from distractions. distractions follow me where ever i go. AHHHH! horsham, pennsylvania you are not helping me do any of my work. maybe i will go to the library tomorrow. yeah right...

my dad told me something really funny today. him, my mom, and a bunch of their friends are going to medieval times tomorrow. that will be a sight. a bunch of middle aged asian people at medieval times. too funny. i wish i was there to take pictures of that. but i'll be home by myself not doing work and cheering on the flyers. i really hope they win. detroit bitch slapped colorado last night eight two and sent them packing. jesus. i wonder if anyone is going to be able to stop the red wings. if the flyers make it to the finals, i will be praying very hard. GO FLYERS! GO RANGER (for melissa) PLEASE BEAT THE PENGUINS! I HATE SIDNEY CROSBY AND MALKIN!

anyway... the dude of the day for moi is...

JASON MRAZ because two friends asked for his CDs after hearing his new single "I'm Yours" on the radio today. That song is gonna be the summer hit. I am so glad i saw him in an intimate setting in April before his concerts get moved to huge venues over the summer. only 12 more days until we sing, we dance, we steal things comes out. i am so excited for that. he's another one of my crushes...

i love this picture. it used to be the background of my phone until lupul scored the ot goal in game seven of the first round. it will be making a comeback soon though. very soon. i also love this picture...
he posted it on his blog. i'm not that creepy (i swear). i wish i could be on the beach swimming, surfing, tanning, drinking, and frolicking with jason mraz. ugh that would be the life. okay making it a goal i need to accomplish.

o yeah! melissa and i decided we are gonna go on vacation in august right before school starts up. where should we go??? hmmmm...

edit: i am very impatient, sleepy, and uncomfortably full. grrrrrrr.

omg this post is overload but this is one of my fav songs by jason mraz and it needs to be shared...

hmm

I'm at work right now and I just got back from my interview a little while ago. I was so not excited for the interview and didn't know much about what the internship would entail but now, I LOVE the company and really want the job!! It's a fashion showroom and I'd get to help send stuff to the press, magazines, and just try to make more of a name for some of the brands they represent. I'd also be helping out with the tradeshows and get to go to tons of parties!! I am like so into this now and I'm dying to hear back. It kind of sucks that because of my surgery I won't be able to do anything until July probably. I had to tell them that but let them know I can work full time and into the fall or whatever. Hopefully they don't hate me because my schedule sucks for the beginning of the summer. Oh--and my outfit was horrible. The place was so casual and trendy and hip and I looked like an office bitch. But i guess it's better to be overdressed than underdressed, right? You're supposed to present yourself well during an interview anyway....





But yea, here are 2 of the brands they represent and I think they're soo cool. I could definitely see myself wearing some of this stuff. I could totally do this job and I hope I hear back soon!!

Bensimon & Nooka

love, melissa





ps- i'm going home tonight to have a nice family weekend. now that finals are over and i just have 2 presentations (which are pretty much done) i can finally relax! plus i get to see heather before she leaves for england for a month so that will be good. xoxo

Melissa Marie Rudd

So this is my first blog in like years. I had one in middle school but a lot has changed since then and I think this is a wonderful idea. I really like this joint blog thing. Christina and I (Melissa) have too many crazy stories and insane ideas and it's time we wrote some of it down (not just through text!!). 

So lately I've been realizing how boy crazy I really am. I go through phases. For a few days or weeks I feel independent and strong and love being single. Then it hits me. I see a cute boy and we share a moment--sort of-- and then it passes and I feel lonely. It's been over a year since I've been in a real relationship and I think it's time. Summer is the perfect time for a nice fling or for something real maybe. I'll be stuck in bed for about a month because of my stupid surgery but I feel like there might be hope for me yet...

Anyway, tomorrow I have an internship interview. I have to leave work to go a few blocks down to meet this girl. I picked out a cute outfit-- black pencil skirt, black top, cute gold necklace and bracelet, black flats (no heals--I don't want to be too formal). I wanted to keep it casual but trendy.. I'm not really sure what the company dress code is like so i figured black always works and the outfit could be interpreted a number of different ways.... I have a feeling I'm overthinking this whole outfit thing though haha I always do that. 

So I'm listening to Madonna and thinking about my newest celebrity crush (no, I don't have a real crush right now. I keep getting let down). Recently I've realized my love for PAUL RUDD. I've liked him since his Clueless days (ummm my favorite movie!!) and it just like hit me. This also made me realize that I have a thing for older guys. He's like in his 30s and married. But that seems to be a new trend of mine too... I need to stay away from the 30-year-old married type. hahah Maybe that's why I'm still single.... I NEED A NEW TYPE! ASAP!

But for now I will dream about Mr. Rudd. Sigh.

love, melissa

PS- Let's Go Rangers!!

first post first post...

so melissa and i (christina) decided to make a joint blog just writing nonsense. it is named melmko because obviously melissa's last name is melms and mine is ko. we decided it is kind of like our celebrity couple's name. we are just so amazing like that if you didn't notice before. haha. i am totally kidding. i'm really a modest person. seriously.

i just ate a fortune cookie and my fortune read: "Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you." I really like that fortune. I might just keep this tiny slip of paper in my wallet. i need to remember that from now on.

moving on...
what is a topic that i can never get sick of talking about? o yeah... boys. just a little thought. i was talking to my cousin last week about my real life and celebrity crushes. we were watching the flyers game at the same time and mike richards came up on screen. obviously i screeched and exclaimed that he was my future husband. my cousin turns to me and goes "did u realize that all your crushes resemble each other". i didn't believe her until we began looking at different pictures and such. it then hit me that i do have a type. basically all the boys (fake ppl aka celebrities) i have crushes on resemble each other or look very similar. it is so sad that all my crushes are "famous" people right now. it is weird because this wasnt my type like a year ago. a year ago i was all about the shaved heads n more masculine looking men like wentworth miller and jason statham. weird. anyway i wonder if anyone else has realized this about their crushes or current gfs/bfs. so strange.

so to end this first blog by me, here is a picture of my one true love, mr. michael richards:


i am really creepy. i found this picture online, obviously i did not take it. yikes!

<3 christina ko